Nursery School Nightmare

Miss McGinnis Nursery School was a scary place. My twin brother and I started staying there during the day when we were about three because my mom said we made her nervous, and the doctor said the cure was for her to get a paying job. She became a clerk at North American Aviation where my father worked in the factory (at first, until he was promoted and eventually the first systems financial analyst in the aerospace industry). She didn't drive yet so she rode to work with my dad.

My grandmother thought she should provide the childcare, and we did beg and cry to be with her. Our weekends were mostly spent with her while our parents went to parties, dancing, drinking, etc. My mother was having none of it. She really hated my grandmother so there was no changing things.

Miss McGinnis was strict and cruel. The first day we were there my brother cried and cried. We sat on the edge of the playground watching the other children. We'd never been allowed to play with other children so we had no idea how to engage. We had each other and up until that point we were one unit. As he cried I told myself I couldn't cry because it would make it worse for him. I choked back tears and held his little hand. Shame on my parents for sending us there!!!!

Eventually things came to a head. I'm not sure exactly how, but somehow I think my grandmother just would not let up on how awful the school was and how one day old lady McGinnis was going to arrested for child cruelty. She based her opinion on the fact that one day McGinnis decided that all of the children should have a nap on the floor and that I (at four years old) should make sure everybody stayed on their little floor covers. If people didn't do what they were told she had a variety of punishments and I certainly didn't want to be punished for something others did, so when one of the children didn't want to stay down and kept singing and throwing his cover around I pushed him down. I seem to remember, but not sure, that I pushed his head down onto the cover just as McGinnis came back into the room.

Next thing I knew she had dragged me into the hallway and opened the giant door (I was only four so it probably wasn't all that giant) to the very very giant coal furnace room. She told me to sit down and not move. I was terrified but I didn't cry. It was pitch black with only a crack of light under the door so I sat there so I could watch the shadows of people passing.

I told what happened to my mother, who could have cared less. So I told my grandmother who did care and she pitched a fit to anybody who would listen. Shame on my dad for not siding with his mother. Eventually McGinnis and her son were arrested for child cruelty, but this was many years later. I often wonder how that experience influenced my beliefs in my early years - terrified of the dark, scared of men, scared to try anything new and more. I do think this shaped some of my first opinions of myself because I had learned by now that little girls were not to be bold, opinionated or sure of themselves because there was punishment involved whenever those issues came up in my life. I will say that I was thrilled when I heard that McGinnis was going to be punished...I felt vindicated.